Ever since I was a child I have had a love of all things goo and goopy. It probably has to do with where I grew up, the groundpipes I would find on my endless childhood walks, secreting their semisynthetic by-product with its throbbing lumps and occasional bubbles. The familiar oozing of blisters on the rodents and birds we could find for the rare traditional dinner. I used to stay in the kitchen for the full 6 hour process of boiling away the burnt nickel smell and rending the beasts into a classic dinner paste like you'd see in the movies. I wont risk exposing where it is I work now, but you can be certain I put all my tickets in one bowl... ;) Now I have ample opportuity to work with every new classification of by-product as soon as its developed, and while I can't showcase most of what I get to experience for obvious reasons, I hope I can deliver some useful information on how to safely and efficiently collect goo of your own!

Ive always preferred terms like by-product over terms like waste, because the creation of new goo for us hunters to enjoy is hardly a waste if you ask me. Its made me extremely happy to watch this nomenclature become more commonplace as people realize the perfection acchieved in goo. Goo is is a byproduct of the creation of something else, but cannot be used to produce anything. Therefore it exists in a perfect state of performing its duty unchangingly. The permanence of goo is what makes it so special, no matter how much change my body experiences, I can take solace in the enduring form of my goo collection. If Im unnable to collect the goo with my own hands, I can at least be certain that no other hands will claim it either, be they human or the hands of time. I can only imagine my predecessors admiring the same puddles of sludge as I and hopefully anyone who reads this blog will continue to admire for as long as our memory lasts.